SUFFER WELL

suf·ferVerb: /ˈsəfər/ Experience or be subjected to (something bad or unpleasant). 2. Be affected by or subject to (an illness or ailment).

well/wel/Adverb: In a good or satisfactory way: "the whole team played well". Adjective: In good health; free or recovered from illness.

Kind of an oxymoron, isn’t it? Someone told me I “suffer well” once when I was out trying to enjoy myself but was having a bad flare-up and everything that day was screaming at me in my body. But despite that I was really trying to have a good time until my invisible illness was not so invisible to them and they got out of me that I had to sit down. I felt offended at first, but they assured me it was a compliment.

The term “suffer well” has Biblical reference but that is not what I am referring to here at all. I am simply referring to the raw two words because as opposite as they are, it can perfectly describe what a lot of us spoonies go through each day. We learn to live with that background noise for so long we start training out brains to accept this “new kind of normal.” In other words…we suffer well. Those I know with chronic illnesses do this, in my opinion, even better than I can. I used to wonder how they did it with pushing on and on as if they were completely healthy. Until I got talking to a few of them recently and found I was wrong. It just seemed that way. They have to take care of themselves just as I do-and as a matter of fact have started doing it better by taking hints from me. Imagine that.

So let me tell you what I think it is to “suffer well” with an invisible illness. To suffer means to be extremely uncomfortable. And to be well means to be handling it as best you can. This means the things that allow your brain to overcome the discomfort like working on something you enjoy, helping others and keeping your spirits up to simply accepting the discomfort so you can have a life of some sort. After all that is all anyone can do-invisible illnesses or not. I have seen someone very close to me do it with arthritis working to create beautiful pieces of art, stay involved with three organizations that demand a lot and be there for others like me. I have heard of a young man who carries on with school and work in great lonliness but with apparently such grace who has a chronic autoimmune disease that is so rare and painful the doctors do not even know what it is. I have myself worked and played feeling the whole time like I have the flu but have gotten so used to it does not occur to me much sometimes. Why? We have this one life. We want to be part of it best we can no matter how sick we are. So we suffer well.

Suffer Well by Depeche Mode

Where were you when I fell from grace

Frozen heart, an empty space

Something's changing, it's in your eyes

Please don't speak, you'll only lie

I found treasure not where I thought

Peace of mind can't be bought

Still I believe

I just hang on

Suffer well

Sometimes it's hard

It's hard to tell

An angel led me when I was blind

I said take me back, I've changed my mind

Now I believe

From the blackest room, I was torn

You called my name, our love was born

So I believe

I just hang on

Suffer well

Sometimes it's hard

It's hard to tell

I just hang on

Suffer well

Sometimes it's hard

So hard to tell